This weekend marks some of the most important holy days of The Church of Bliss. It is a relatively new religion, but it has roots as far back as ancient Greece. Socrates seemed to have flirted with some of the basic ideas. And Pyrrho embraced them wholeheartedly.
Descartes is our most famous apostate. After articulating a most convincing argument in favor the church, he proceeded to try to refute it. That his refutation is universally regarded as a failure speaks to the appeal of our tenets.
I discovered the Church through its holy days. The state school I am associated with observes Non-Instructional Day the Friday before and the Monday after Easter. There are several other Non-Instructional Days, but these are the most important ones.
The Church has only one sacrament: Ignorance. And it recognizes but one sin: Belief. Believing anything is forbidden. Punishment – the removal of happiness – is swift and sure. It is expressed most clearly by our patron saint, Calvin:
This all may sound a little strange, but it’s not any weirder than maintaining a belief in human sacrifice in the 21st Century.